Last night I was viewing a friend’s Facebook wall when a past announcement attracted my attention. It was about the demise of a journalist, my former colleague, on 6 April morning. I already learned about this news from a mailing list the day she passed away. She lost a battle against cancer. She wrote an article in an English daily in Jakarta where she described her struggle to overcome fear and despair after she was diagnosed with breast cancer stadium III three years ago, her painful period of chemotherapy and recovery until she could say that the disease was partly a blessing for her, redirected her focus to find the depth and the meaning of life, to fully accept herself and be grateful with what she had to endure. May God rest her soul.
This brought me to the memories of two men whom I met in Myanmar. Both are cancer survivors: one had leukemia and the other colon cancer.
One of them, “W”, is a German man who possesses a unique mixture of strong personality and intelligence, and an eternal spring of compassion that never seems to run dry. His strength has always amazed me: he never seems to waver or get easily swayed by the slightest change in circumstances. But he could empathize with people and their plights. He’s like a lone, towering lighthouse in the middle of an ocean that guides people around him without having to make them his herds.
He knew I was battling depression. Some time in mid-2009, I, my husband and W got together for a happy hour in a bar. I looked very gloomy and I had the feeling my hubby told him what was going on with me. He’s not a kind of person who readily exposes his softy side to everyone nor give someone a personal advice unless you are as close as a family member. But he talked to me with a lot of compassion, reminding me to let go of the past and move on — assuring me that the past would not in any way define my future as long as I did not live in it. Meaning whatever happened in the past is not the sole determinant of my future success, because no one knows what the future holds. He, for example, never knew that he would be diagnosed with leukemia when he was at the peak of his career at the managerial level. He thought his life crumbled all over the place, but he decided to endure months of surgery and chemotherapy. He emerged a wiser man, who could think and feel with his heart. He spent a couple of years at the office before decided to go on an early retirement this year. He looked straight to my eyes when he told me this, “You are a healthy woman. You still can start all over and accomplish a lot of things.” That words struck a chord in my soul. They sunk slowly into my subconscious and I felt my strength was slowly building up.
During our final encounter in March 2010, he told me what made him survive the unpredictable nature of the future: Faith.
Every time I remember him, even as I wrote this entry, my eyes welled up with tears because I could still feel his kindness that touched deep into my soul. Thank you for letting me know such a wonderful person and wish him health and happiness for the rest of his life!
The other man is a Burmese. His first name also starts with “W”.
He barely told his fight against cancer to anyone, except those who are close to him. He treated us like his family. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer around 2005 and part of his stomach was removed in a surgery in his home country. A few years later he was diagnosed with colon cancer (he said the previous doctor did not clean up the cancer cell thoroughly) — this time he had to undergo treatment in Bangkok. His remaining stomach including his colon were all removed and he had to use a colostomy for the rest of his life. He could taste food in his mouth but after swallowing, the food would go straight to the plastic bag attached to his tummy wall. He does not absorb any nutrients from the food like normal people and has to get them from other sources. People said when he returned from Bangkok he was all skin and bone. But he enjoys his life despite the setback, and he still continues eating his favorite food.
He gave us plenty of advices including warning us against eating animal’s internal organs, which are often the main ingredients of Chinese cuisine. He felt so lucky to be alive, and his doctors told him that his case was a miracle because the cancer cell was completely disappeared from his body. He told me jokingly how he was already in front of the cemetery gate, not only once but several times.
I was deeply touched upon hearing his story. I used to see myself as a very weak and fragile human being who was ready to crack at any time, until I saw in “W” from Myanmar the capacity of a human being to endure the most painful and horrible setback, to be courageous in the face of death, to accept himself and his shortcomings and to finally achieve victory.
According to “W” from Myanmar, his life has never been the same. He changed both on the emotional and psychological levels. He bought a beautiful house in Yangon and transformed a room into a shrine for praying. He’s still a highly perceptive and outspoken man who loves to be surrounded by friends from many nationalities. He retired by end of last year. We are still chatting with each other through the Internet. Thank you again to our Maker, for getting me to know this special person and be healed.
Fighting cancer has brought a lot of emotional distress to the families of both “W”s but when they united and won the battles, I saw that the bonds among the family become even stronger. I see that since they have overcome the worst possible thing that could happen to their beloved ones, why bother the small things that don’t add value to their mortal life?
Looking back, I can see the beauty of life through these special friends and the strength, the physical and emotional capacities of a human being to endure adversities and challenges. These people have helped me healed and woke me up with the message that I could also be as strong and wise as them.
