Yeah, that’s me.

My hubby went to meet some trainers from the survival training course that I took part last month. Those who remembered me said that I am a tough woman. Not in a negative sense that refers to that kind of attitude — you know what I mean. No, I am no thick-skinned bitch. My hubby told one of the trainers, “She won’t be my wife if she isn’t tough”. How delightful that sounds.

I am tough because people see that I can endure stress and hardships. While I often walk out of the situation black and blue with bruises, I don’t seem to lose my mind. Or my fighting spirit. Or my composure. I have seen how people reacted to challenges or difficult situations, and I must admit that I tend to do the same. The difference between the old me and the present one is that I can stay focussed to the task at hand when required or necessary. True, I lost my concentration all the time … I could spend 8 hours reading 3,000-words journal article just because I felt bored after two paragraphs. Or keep flicking TV channels because I don’t know what I want to see.  Yet I am always amazed at my ability to focus in certain situations, to the point that I felt my surroundings melt away and becoming waves of colourful bright lines and muffled sound; thus lost their meanings and importance to the present time. I’m not on psychedelic drugs — this ability I attain through meditation practice. Not merely meditating, but, yeah, meditating seriously. If you can’t do that you’d better change your meditation instructor.

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