I’m back home after two weeks out in Victoria. I went to two training courses on humanitarian practices. One of them was a survival training. Though it was quite intense, I had a lot of fun by getting immersed in the program. I learned to face my fear and other practical skills including how to read a map and use a compass when got stuck in a jungle with no GPS or mobile phone. There are more “terrifying” subject matters covered but I’m not going to share them here. Elsewhere in Europe or Africa you need to pay high price to take this type of course, because the training modules are up to date with the current security environment and the trainers are usually highly-trained former military or security officers who had served in various types of emergency situation.

Free photo courtesy of Wallpedia.org

At the end of the training, I admitted to myself that I am not physically fit like most of the trainers. But as one of them pointed it out to me, our survival depends mostly on our brainwork (and not merely on weapons or other tools), and of course a good deal of trainings. I had been caught in the crossfire and violent, angry mobs when I was a journalist a long time ago but I didn’t realise that my intelligence might have saved me — I thought it was merely my “survival instinct” triggered by the fight-or-flight response to a crisis. I wasn’t trained for particular situations such as riots or wars (who thought of a riot would explode in Jakarta last time?). I also discovered that in the most critical moments I could keep myself calm and focussed, and therefore was able to think clearly about the next course of action instead of panicking and losing hope. Those are the most important skills, I believe, especially when I have to make quick decision in less favourable environments (imagine having to decide whether to stay or leave the office when caught in an intense office politic ;-)). I had good laughs throughout the course and made lots of friends.

The Road Trip
The trip from NSW to Victoria was pretty boring. It was a 12-hours one-way trip along Hume Highway and there’s practically nothing to look and see along the way. But this is the fastest way to go to Melbourne from Sydney — there are also suggestions to go through small cities along the Coast. I’ll try them out later when time allows. I stayed overnight at a small motel at Holbrook which was conveniently located on the highway side. Many travellers spend a night or two here and I could hear big trucks and trailers passed the highway in loud sound, even at night time. That’s my first experience staying on my own in a small town in Australia. Overall, I’m so proud to be able to drive long distance by myself, thanks to my dearest hubby who “forced” me to do so :-). All and all, I covered more than 2,000 kilometers of return trip from NSW to Victoria!

Celebration of friendship
One of the highlights of my trip was a quick lunch date with a former university friend, “S”. He’s been living in Melbourne since mid-1990s when he came here to study for his Master’s. It was a funny encounter. He told me to go to the State Library building a few blocks away from my hotel. Having been in Melbourne CBD for less than 24 hours, I had to rely on the GPS on my not-so-smart phone to locate the building. I waited for him for about 10 minutes. He called me when he’s arrived on the site. He said he couldn’t see me. I decided to stand on higher ground and he immediately spotted me. I still couldn’t see him, until he said over the phone, “Look to your left!” and there he was, standing in less than 3 meters in front of me!!! We laughed out loud and hugged each other. How I missed him a lot! And what a pleasant surprise since I didn’t have the plan to meet former friends in Melbourne. He saw me updating my position in Victoria on Facebook and sent message to me how long I would be in Melbourne. I didn’t hear from him until about six hours before I left the city. He’s like an older brother to me and one of my girlfriend when we were still students in Architecture, almost 20 years ago!

We went to a Malaysian restaurant and had yummy lunch. Talked about a lot of things, how life’s treating us. Time was running fast and we’re unable to speak a lot of what has been going on since we last met in 1994. At some point “S” came out of the closet and admitted he lived a “double life” as a gay. That’s one reason he cut contacts with a lot of friends from Indonesia. A few of our friends who live in Europe knew about this and had even met his partner, who’s an English man. He said his brothers and parents in Indonesia knew and had met his partner. However we didn’t discuss in length his family’s response. “S” and his partner have been living together in Australia for 12 years. I was amazed! Some straight couple had gone divorce before reaching their 2nd wedding anniversary!

Think globally
It was a nice brief date with him, and he kept on monitoring my trip back to Sydney in the next two days. There are a couple of things that I discovered myself upon meeting him, that make me feel like I have left behind my Indonesian worldview and am getting closer to becoming a global citizen.

1. When I told “S” that I was driving from NSW to Victoria, he was almost screaming in surprise. “You’re so amazing! Many Indonesians that I know of will never want to drive a long distance!” Of course they had better taken the budget flight — cheap and fast. But I was after experiences and adventure while there’s an opportunity to do so.

2. I made him amazed furthermore when I told “S” that I chose to live in the country instead of big modern city like Sydney. I said in my place now I woke up to the sound of birds and smelt the scent of nature; while in Sydney, I would get up listening to cars passing by in front of the house (and trains when living near the station) and people rushing to work. I was telling him that I am improving my life quality. Despite having hectic lives in the office or elsewhere, my husband and I could rest and find peace in the tranquility of our home. Isn’t that about mental and spiritual balances? “S” said, “Wow … I only know that many Indonesians would love to stay near main roads and avoid quiet places”. I know what he’s talking about. But I am not living in Indonesia; I have a lot of options (other than those dictated by my parents and Indonesian relatives and friends) and I chose the best one to suit my own needs (not other people‘s needs).

Image courtesy of Chaiwat/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

These two conversations open my eyes that I am no longer attached to the cultural and worldview of Indonesians. I am less kay poh (busybody) as I do respect my friend’s sexual orientation and let live. The moment I showed my appreciation for who he is, I noticed he’s more caring towards me, and keen to stay in touch. And I feel much content by being myself and taking care of the people I love and those who care about me. I am feeling blessed.